Do I have to give up sex altogether?

No!! Many people are worried that recovery means never having sex again. Recovery may require a short period of abstinence in order to help the addict discover his/her own natural sexual rhythm. They then move on to connecting with their healthy sexuality.

I have a bigger sexual appetite than my wife. I have satisfied this with masturbation, affairs and some online activities. Does this mean that I am a sex addict?

In order to assess someone it is important we look at more than the behaviour. We take into consideration all aspects of the person’s life. Is this behaviour causing stress or concern and neglect in the coupleship, the family, work and /or social relationships? Are any of these aspects of life at risk because of the behavior? Ask yourself if you are willing to abstain from these behaviors for a period of at least 30 days. If you are not willing to try it or if you do try it and are unable to abstain then there is a problem.

I have been using cybersex for a while, will I ever find a normal person attractive again?

Although cybersex provides an intensity that is similar to early attraction it is very lacking in what is known as substance. It offers promises of fulfillment but actually provides disconnection. It leads the participant down an ever lonelier path of isolation. It cannot provide the complete fulfillment of a healthy loving intimate connection with another living person. Abstinence from cybersex can lead to healthier connections with real human beings.

My partner has been spending a lot of time on internet porn sites. Our sex life and social lives are deteriorating fast. When I confront him about it he denies that anything is wrong and that I just need to loosen up. Is he developing an addiction?

It is not possible to say whether or not your partner has an addiction, but nevertheless your relationship does have a problem. You may want to seek a couples therapist to help sort out the problem in the coupleship. You may find support for yourself on some of the online support groups. These groups are there for people whose lives are being affected by someone’s sexual behavior. You can find the links on our resource page.